2. true love
Love. Love is the greatest gift God ever gave man. Love is not wanting to go anywhere without her. Love is not caring what other people think about the two of you. Love is when you feel depressed and sickly when you're not with her. You feel like your life has no meaning or purpose without her. And that if she wasn't holding your hand you would float away to heaven from where she came. Love is caring for her physically and emotionally. It's telling her everyday, anytime, anywhere, anyhow, for no just reason that you love her. Love is telling her u want to spend the rest of your life with her. Love is wanting to marry her even tho ya'll haven't been dating that long. That you would do anything and everything for her. It's the feeling that you would give up everything just to see her smile or look into her beautiful eyes or hear her soft, soothing voice. Love is pure happiness. Love is the feeling you get when all you have to do is think of her and it brings a smile to your face and a yourning to your heart. Love is not being able to think about nething but her. Love is having the sweetest dreams about her and waking up with a smile on ur face. Love is an overwelming feeling of pure bliss when the 2 of u kiss. Love is wanting to hold her in ur arms till the end of time. Love is wishing ur time with her never ends, that your lips would be locked together forever, that she'd be in ur arms till the end of time, that u could cuddle with her for all of eternity. Love is being helplessy and deeply in love with her and knowing your love for her and your feelings for her will never change/end. Love is the world, the world is love, and she is the world to me...
I have witnessed this definition to the T.
My Grandpa turned 90 in July, Grandma turns 90 next month. She now has Alzheimer's. Which honestly did break my heart hearing it. We noticed it starting to set in a few years ago. But just within the past 2 months, she really has plummeted upon a fall and breaking her shoulder. Bless her heart she tries hard to remember, but it's only so helpful.
Let's start at the very beginning...(a very good place, to start, ha!)
Brian's family is somewhat scattered around the country. Some are in Missouri, some in Seattle, some in California etc. He got an invite to go to his Uncle's in Monterey for Oktoberfest, as his family is German. We didn't have much free time as the others did, but we opted to go, and have some fun and get away from the chaos of the world and the thralls of what single parenting is for the 2 of us. We drove 21hrs (after meeting up with his parents in S. Oregon, making some stops. without stops it was 15hrs) and made it to his Uncle Mike's. We had a blast with his family, who were all hospitable, loving, kind and all immensely welcoming. All such big heart and loving people, Brian has a fantastic family, and I'm so grateful he realizes is! We hit up the beach, and soaked up the noise of waves in which we are depleted of in the NW. We drove back N bound on I-5 and let my grandparents know the night prior, we'd be making a pit stop to see them.
When I had called the night prior, my grandmother answered, and thought I was my brother. I had to tell her many times, "It's HEIDI, Grandma....not Cody." She didn't seem to understand. Broke my heart. It was a little thing, but it's so incredibly hard to watch someone literally deteriorate. I had watery eyes. My grandmother as I once knew, 5yrs ago, was now a VERY different woman. Same body, same heart, still the love of Christ that's as big as a bonfire, but her words and manners have just changed drastically. Grandpa got on the phone and said "Sweet Heidi, we love you so much. But your grandmother is doing more poorly now that she ever has. When you get here, I will tell you". This totally sank my heart. I don't do well with family members getting ill, or passing for that matter.
We drove the 3-4hrs from Monterey to Placerville, and the minute we pulled up, my Grandpa Willard came out of the house to greet us with hugs and handshakes. He held my face and said "Your Grandma has now developed Alzheimer's. There is nothing we can do. She's past the point that we can 'train' her. We can just tell her over and over again of what she's said, and that's it. So please utilize love and patience with her, she will tell you the same things, over and over again. I took a deep sigh, hugged that amazing old man like no tomorrow, having lost one grandpa has really made me look at my family and realize how vitally important they are to me. We walked in, and Brian and Grandpa just HIT it off! My Grandpa loves houses, he's built many with his own 2 hands, and that's what Brian does for his living. He builds houses, and does a spectacular job, really. All his houses are gorgeous. My Grandpa just beamed and they talked and talked. Made my heart sing because I haven't brought any man around my extended family in about 11yrs, as I'm very selective about it, because it's SO special to me that I use caution. I was helping my grandma with some phone #'s she didn't have, and wanted. During that time, she asked me 3 times within 45 seconds, how much I weighed, and how old my kids were. Her 90th birthday party was 2ms ago, in which she saw me and was thrilled to see me. She said "I had my birthday party a few months ago". I said "I know! I was here for it!" she looked so confused. She said "You were? I don't remember you being here?" I go "Oh, I came up from Seattle, remember Grandma? I stayed downstairs with my kids, Leena and Landon?" 'Oh, I'm sorry honey, I don't remember you being here at all'. My heart sank. This really is as bad as grandpa said. She also told a lighter variation of the story of how my mom survived hepatitis when she was born, which my mother was labeled "The Miracle Baby" because so many Dr's had told my grandma she would be born dead. In short, she was a unknown medical miracle. Especially for the late 50's.
We walked around while my Grandpa gave Brian a tour. I loved seeing Brian's eyes twinkle and glow with appreciation and new found love and respect for such people I love and dearly adore, and hold dear to my heart. It's not just them that I hold dear, it's the house, the surroundings, the memories that he was all getting to piece together.It was now special to him also, because the love I have of that place.
As we stood under a 2nd covered driveway they have under the deck upstairs, my Grandpa talked about the giant ponderosa pines that are all over his 15 acres his lot sits on. He said they bloom red fruit and the robins go crazy and eat all of them. ANd he said "not to be crude, and my apolgies in advance, but these Robins eat all the fruit and they just shit all over the place" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. He is 90, and totally just swore in front of us, I've rarely heard him do that. We laughed so hard! Brian even gave him a high five, I was going to do that but he beat me to it. He still has his sense of humor.
We made the trek home, and got home around 1am. We are both exhausted, tired, but realize the sacrifice wasn't just a sacrifice, it was NEEDED. We needed to see family, we needed to make those memories with those people. I will never regret that trip, though 36hrs of it, was spent in a moving vehicle. I had my best friend and soul mate in tow, I got to spend awesome time with his parents, who I now just adore for their humor, love and constant show of appreciation and love for those around them. We BOTH are so blessed with family that is truly heaven sent!
The biggest thing I learned, was what true love was. My grandpa has never criticized my grandma. He really has earned his gold start to get into heaven. He adores his wife, he will say things "my poor sweetheart has aged, and she can't remember. Please, just know how much she loves you." he speaks with his heart, and I pray to god, I am just like him when I'm in that boat, at his age, or even maybe beyond. HE is what keeps my grandma going, HE is selfless. HE is the one who loves her regardless. He holds her hand, still kisses her, helps her, aids her, literally is her rock. And they're 90. That, is enduring to the end, and 10000%, true and eternal love.
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