How I really feel about Inside Out.

Have you seen the Pixar film, Inside Out?

I was at Costco about 2 weeks ago. It had come out on DVD. I'd not seen it, but knew Leena had and enjoyed it. Putting faith in my teenage daughters opinion, I chucked it into my cart. Went on my merry way. Upon returning home, Leena goes, oh you got this?! It's sad, but still happy. I think you'll like it! I was like what?! Sad?! She goes shhh, just trust me mom!

Sigh. Ok.

Few days later for the single mom version of FHE which consists of me being exhausted, I let my kids pick a movie to watch while I try to stay awake. Landon was begging to watch it, as he hadn't seen it.

Here is what I can tell you. This movie hit me hard. Because it is Leena. She tries to be happy, but finds indifference with a perpetual state of sadness, sometimes joy takes over and she is fine. Other days, she is on her cloud, with tears flowing. Her genetic makeup consists of a lot of mental health challenges. I felt like the main character I was watching, was my own.

Here is what it taught me, and spoiler alert if you've not seen it! It taught me that her brain operates in a unique fashion. Half joy, but equivocal sadness at times too. I felt like I was watching the thoughts in her head. Bing Bong, the part where he says, take her to the moon for me. Had my eyes watering, and choked up. I just stared at Leena, and felt a little sigh of relief. I was sympathetically feeling what she battles on a regular basis. Granted we've found remedies that have helped her to a degree and usually she appears content. But that's how she is. Little yellow character in a green dress half the time, the other a blue sad mess.

If you have a teenager struggling or being moody, watch this movie. No joke. It made me see how my child feels. I've never been able to get sad people. Or people with depression, my brain cannot process that. Sorry. If anything I lose my patience because I offer a million suggestions, and there's a million reasons as to why not even one can be done.

There are days where I feel like bing bong, sitting in the dark trenches of forgotten memories of old, and wondering how do I get her out of this? I can't. She has to want to. Luckily she always does, so here's hoping she can get in her song powered rocket and blast off to a happy place.