"Look for the good, and praise it!"

My Great Grandmother Emma Blaser Sorenson, was a wise woman. Smart as a whip. She was pretty, spiritual, and had a million valuable qualities. A true gem. One thing she taught my mother growing up; "Look for the good, and praise it!" My grandmother Eileen, has enstilled this into me as well as my own mother.

We all have our good days, and we sure have just as many equally "off", or bad days.

So many peole fail to see the silver lining of day to day life.

When you're flustered with your children, who are being disobedient, careless, and rude. Count your blessings for their health. Their ability to speak, to walk, to eat. Some kids are much less fortunate.

When you look at your bank account, and see it's not what you expected, be happy you have a roof over your head.

When your head hits the pillow each night, be grateful it's a pillow, and not cold icy concrete.

When you shower every morning, give thanks for even having hot water, or a shower.

When you're stuck in traffic, be grateful you have a car.

When you see a homeless person, pray for them to be put in a direction that will help them. Or, just talk to them. Sometimes all people need, is just someone to show that they care, even if it's a stranger.

Help those in need. "Charity never faileth". And is a selfless act, worth of so many thanks, smiles, and hugs filled with immense gratitude.

A negative attitude, will only bring doom, rainclouds, and ill fate upon you.

Looking for the good, will bring you love, joy, happiness, and thousands of blessings.

There is a silver lining in any scenario, but only if you want to see it. Look for the good, and praise it!

Would you like a slice of chaos pie?

HOLY COW.

I've started school with Duke U. My mind is on overload when I go to bed every night. Now, if I could only remember all that information the next day! I guess the tip isn't to memorize so much, but to let it all seep in with time, and trials to match up with the definitions. That will make it stick, supposedly. It's going ok, I'm ahead two chapeters, if I do that in time, I can graduate early =) WOOP!

In other tales of life. I'm trying to plan my summer. I've got about 5-6 days I plan on making the 14hrs drive to Placerville, CA to see my grandparents for their big 9-0. I will say this, I am VERY blessed that they're still around. As selfish and greedy as this sounds, I almost went into panic mode last year, after my Dad's, Dad, passed. I thought "if I lose another grandparent in the next year, I will be an absolute basket case". Well, that year mark comes up on May 15th.

Having said that, I am still trying to keep in better touch with my extended family. The Elledge side tends to be, the wedding or a funeral family. Which, is good and bad. It's ALWAYS fun seeing each other. I am seeing how so many of the granddaughters resemble each other, because our Dad's look so much alike. But it's also sad, becuase it took a funeral to get us together after 15yrs. In what way, was any of that acceptable? I get life happens, school, kids, babies etc. But it's not too hard to coordinate a day and place we all make the sacrifice to attend. I'm so very determined to see them more. It SHOULD NOT take a wedding or a funeral to see my sweet, and amazingly talented (and pretty) cousins on that side.

Life is too short to not see the people who are blood, make the effort!

Wild ride, in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

I need to get better at updating this thing. So many people out there tell me they like reading but I don't update it enough, so here goes nothing!

About 2 months ago, I sent of $25 and a letter of recommendation to Duke University, at a great attempt to have them let me into their paralegal program. And, IT WORKED!


I'm now one of these thingers...


I'm finally enrolled in the program, waiting for a few loose ends to be ties up with books (which has been more of an issue than it should be!)and then I'm free to start and I will then, be taking on NINETY THREE lessons, 6 books, and 13 exams and a year to complete it. If I'm lucky enough to have the time, I plan to knock out 2 lessons a day, and that way I can be done in half the time.

After that is completed, goal is to get hired on at a law firm. In what field, I'm really unsure because of what emphasis I want to go into.

I'm debating on criminal law, because it's always fascinated me and been of strong interest...BUT! There are also people out there who assault, steal, kill, rape, touch children with no respect for them being innocent, or just do awful things, like kidnap etc. I think working for a lawyer who had graphic information on such things would keep me up at night. Maybe it would be less hard if it was for someone who specialized in narcotics? I've always wondered why people do drugs, and that would maybe cure that? I don't know. Or the one that's also a good field without the worry and fear of being up at night, is Real Estate law. Put sleazy fraud contractors in the hot seat seems kinda cool too, haha. Time will only tell, as well as how loaded my brain gets.

As far as the kids, school is in full run again after a week off. Leena NEVER has any homework because she does it in class,due to all her other school work being done....smart girl! She can be found jumping on the trampoline next door, or, our riding her bike, and in flip flops and shorts when it breaks 55 here, ha!

Landon is fighting a little bug, his illnesses are becoming more frequent, and concerning to this Mama Bear. I'm in the middle of getting a referral for him to go to Seattle Children's Hospital to get screened for liver damage, he has a few signs of it and I just want to either find out for sure, or rule it out once and for all. It breaks my heart seeing my baby turn yellow and get so sick, ALL THE TIME!

Upside is, he has preschool 2 days a week and totally loves it. His newest love is cat and the hat, and curious George...because we downgraded our cable, and that's what on. Kinda nice change, then again, I may resent saying that in a year because the shows are now driving me nuts. Off to get Leena!

Healthy weight, please!

It's almost midnight. I'm sitting here drinking my Odwalla Vitamin C, just ate a Chobani yogurt, and an Odwalla protein bar.

The hell am I doing to myself?! That protein bar tasted like cardboad with oats, the yogurt and juice both made me shudder ever so slightly (not enough to divert me from it for the next 6 days)

BUT!! It's all for a good cause.

Due to stress, a smidge of anxiety, life changes, etc etc. Aka, LIFE. I've lost a bit of weight. About 8lbs or so. And when you only weight 100lbs, that's a lot of weight. I guess I look "gaunt". And I don't want people to look at me and think "wow, what's wrong with her? She looks awful..."

Having said that, I know it's easy to go grab a box of zingers and a a Hungryman frozen dinner and scarf out, but that's not necessarily heart healthy. Empty carbs, hardly any vitamins etc.

Anyone who knows my mom, knows she was in the kitchen almost every night of my life, grinding wheat with a wheat grinder, using that to make whole wheat bread in the bread machine, every night. The woman once made pinto bean fudge, and made us eat 9 grain cereal. She was VERY health conscience due to a slightly scary family history with diabetes, strokes, etc. She wants to live as long as possible without issues, she knew all of her actions would grant her that in time. So far, other than some leg issues, she's doing pretty good for almost 54. She does try hard.

With that said, each night, I plan to consume some sort of dairy product. Today, I grabbed a non fat yogurt, meant to grab 1%, oops! Some sort of dairy product because I'm lacking calcium in my bones, my knees are that of a 63yr old woman on her way to osteoporosis. Drink some juice, and something packed with vitamins, and then hit the hay. Now, if I can re-learn to eat breakfast, lunch, AND dinner, it should only take a few days! Here's hoping! I've lost the pretty look in my face; mostly under my eyes making me loot like I'm skeletor.

Now, just to get someone else to do it with me!

Randoms

Random photos

My public apology..

I owe one person an explanation, and a GIANT apology. Granted, I've told him to to his face I was sorry many times, but I feel like that's not enough, as there are still current struggles.

A few days ago, (or earlier this week) I was feeling upset, discouraged and VERY VERY guilty. In regards to a note Leena had written. Out of pure guilt, instead of bucking up, being honest, and facing the truth. I opted to take the low road and hide the truth about some things I had said. Which, is deeply wrong and against everything I believe in as a human, a Mom, a friend, and a person.

What it all boils down to, I wasn't thinking clearly, I was consumed with guilt about what Leena had said. I wasn't using caution or thinking about ANYONE else's feelings. Not mine, not Leena's, not Jeff's. I was so worried about how it would make Leena feel towards me, I did whatever I could to rid myself of the pressure and guilt. Which is where I went wrong by not seeking counsel, guidance, or prayer for that matter. I bit the bullet and did something absolutely outlandish. I forced a few things on Jeff, in which he was NOT ok with it, at all. All to make myself not feel bad. I'm horribly embarrassed!! Mortified, and I wish I hadn't done any of it. Similar instances have happened before and I not once behaved in such a manner.

With that said, Brian, I'm so very sorry =( You have been nothing but a dream come true to me. You've done everything amazingly well, and right. Right by me, and you and little ones involved. I'm sorry I've been so selfish to not think of your feelings, or anyone else, but my own. This has been such a learning lesson, as it's filled with me guilt, grief, and shame. Please accept my apology and know that it was a guilted decision, and a selfish one. It never going to happen again, you have my word, let this be the promissory note. My life if an open book to you, in which I encourage you to read along with me, and help me write the remaining chapters. You've NEVER once, been anything less than #1. I'm so sorry if I made you feel otherwise =( Please, please, forgive me? You have my heart. Love you.

WOOP!

Hmm. New song, new anthem, new year, cheers!