farewell, for now

I flew to Tucson Friday afternoon for my grandpa Waynes funeral, which was ha following day. What a beautiful service! I sent to the viewing at 9am Saturday. I waked into the room to view his body. I looked at him. He was taken care of, well. I felt so overwhelmed though. I looked back at my grandma Betty, I said, he looks good. I said it with a trembling voice and tears streaming down my face. I knew he was in a better place, but my heart was still broken it seemed.

My dad and mom and all siblings flew in, except Mikelle. Dad gave the eulogy. He held back tears a few times, which made us cry. All the grandkids sung I am a child of god. It was sweet. I had a hard time emotionally keeping tears in. I let my cousins sing for me.

We had a police escort to the Binghampton LDS cemetery, where my brothers, Dad, uncles and cousins lowered him into the ground. He's buried next to his.first wife, Shirley. Who died at age 38 of breast cancer,.my dad was 15. He's also buried below his mom and dad as well as my sister Ashlee. We stayed to throw flowers onto his casket, then give Ashlee, Grandma and Grandpa Elledge flowers and to pay respect to them. As emotional as the weekend was, it was more than worth the time and money. Life is so very short. Make friends with enemies, be kind to everyone, forgive those who have hurt you long ago. I haven't seen some Elledge family members in 20yrs. It took a funeral to change that. I'm determined to keep in better touch with them now. Even more than before.

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God be with you til we meet again, Grandpa.

This breaks my heart writing. But, I hope it will aid me to not be so sad.



Friday, my beloved Grandpa Wayne, fell ill. It escalated to the point that my grandmother felt the need to call 911, and get him immediate medical attention. My Aunt emailed us of the circumstances, and that we should all pray for him and she would keep us posted. As we all fasted and prayed for him to make a speedy recovery. I got an email from my mom this morning, to call her ASAP. My heart sank. It was in a giant double knot as I hit "Call" on my Skype. I heard her voice tremble, as she told me my sweet grandpa had passed at 8am MST this morning. I immediately broke down into tears, and have many in my eyes as I write this.

I'll remember his stories of olden days, and modern. The many about family history, old prospector tales, La Eurena stories of the southwest. The list goes on. I'll miss his jokes, his sense of humor, his never ending love of the gospel and Christ. What a role model I was blessed with! He had such wise advice, and spoke with such depth and sincerity and love. Not everyone can do all of those at one, but he did.

He was faced with trials in life, and got through them well. I admire him for being true to his faith, to his children.

I miss you grandpa, my heart is in pieces, but it will heal. I'm so glad you're in a better place, are surrounded by love and such beautiful people.

Grandma, I'm praying so much for you. I can't thank you enough for being so sweet to me all these years. I love you so much! I will come visit you anytime, you've always been my grandma to me!

This is a time where I'm glad I have my faith. I believe, that if you're religious or not, the thought of a heaven, is better than 6ft under. I know his casket will be, but his spirit lives on among wonderous people.

Unwanted friends

The past few months, I've had some people, who I've never met personally, let alone even seen upfront and in person, pry a bit more into my private life than I would care for. Sad, people get bored, want gossip, so they dig for answers and invade privacy, and common sense.

Anyway, if you can read this, congratulate yourself, you got an invite. Hopefully I can put whatever I want up here, whenever, and not have to worry about prying eyes of strangers seeing things. I so hope this is the LAST TIME I have to do this, I feel like my freedom of speech has been half way taken from me.

Love my Spandy

My family calls Landon, "Landy Spandy". It's because he's always been a big time kicker. And when I was pregnant with him, we said we would call him Landy, for short. Then over time, Landy Spandy caught on, and it's stuck. Not what I had planned, but so long as they still love him that's all that matters! My baby boy is 2.5 now and I can't believe it, he's such a talker! He can say mini-sentences now, and is the ultimate cuddle bug. WE LOVE YOU LANDON JEFFERY!!!

Point No Point

This last weekend, I was child free! WEIRD! I love my babies, don't get me wrong, but sometimes a few hours of peace and quiet is good too. Well, I got 2 days of that. I was happy to have them back though, I missed my little noise makers!

So, I went up to this little tiny town, Hansville and hit up the beach, which is SANDY! Yes, it has the typical NW logs galore, but most of them had the bark chipped off from being thrown around in currents. There was a lighthouse and the old light keepers home was there too and had been converted into a rental home that you can use for a weekender. It was really cute to watch seals just have a hay day. There were some people flying kites on the beach, seals would sit in the water and just watch people kite fly, while the kite flyers would do that, and watch the seals, watch them! Too cute, not to mention funny! I'd been ther before but hadn't walked around much. The place goes for miles and has little log huts people have built. I had a friend go with me just because they hadn't been there, all in all was fun to just get out of Dodge and just hang out with a good friend. (no worries, JUST a friend!)

Then on our way out, we went to this little place called Taprock NW Grill. Which, usually anything "northwest" I'm not into because it's usually a lot of seafood and other hippy things that I'm not a fan of, but this was good! All in all, a day well spent :)

Stings like a bee

I've noticed with everything going on, technology has it's downfall. I see things Jeff will post online, and it just stings.

I think as a female, I tend to cling more and value everything a bit more than the male gender. Not all, but some. I saw something today, that made me angry.

The catch to technology is, people can know what you're doing, whenever. Which, is good and bad. What if you didn't want to know what one specific person is doing? Oops, now ya know, sorry! I don't like it. I so hope all of this ends soon, I'm so worn out and feeling alone during all of this too.

Sucks.

I hope they find a cure

Since the end of 2010, Jeff and I ave goten 3 phone calls, about 3 people, who were diagnosed with similar forms of cancer.

I looked the word up in the dictionary, and this is the one that best dscribed it:

Can-Cer [kan-ser] 1. any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively; blight.

Evil. Yep, that suits it about right.

First person: Grandpa Daniels. He was diagnoed with Colon AND Liver cancer around thanksgiving. After having some internal complications, they went in for surgery, and did a biosy, diagnosed him with colon cancer, and noticed it had spread to his liver. He's refused treatment since he's decided, he quit drinking and smoking, and that alone gave him an extra 31 years of life, so if god wants him to go, he'll go when he's summoned. Wow grandpa! He's still enjoying life, while he has the opportunity. He's more lethargic if anything, but Jeff makes the drives over there to see him when he can. Jeff, you rock.


Second person. My best friend Melissa, her WONDERFUL Dad, Ron, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer after fighting flu like symptoms right before Christmas. He had just had his annual physical, and it had gone undetected. They finally did an ultrasound, and that's when they noticed there as a tumor on his pancreas, they did a biopsy, and it came back as pancreatic cancer. He passed 6 days later. Within the day he was admited, to the day he passed, was less than a week.

Third person, Jeffs buddy/best friend in WA, Rick, his Mom, just passed today. About 5 hours ago in fact. Just in the past month, she wasn't feeling well, went to the Doctor, and they found out she had pancreatic and liver cancer. Doctors had said, tey this new type of chemo, may not make you as sick, and may be able to give you an extra 3 years. So, she put up a great fight, and even though the battle is over, I really genuinely feel she won, because she tried.

Not enough marathons for helping find a cure, I wish I could do all of them and donate billions for research to rid the world of it. It's just a sad way to go, and all 3 families will have my everlasting condulences.

Looks like I need 3 colors of ribbons....